school.. alone.. and happy!

prob going to be journaling less from here out, starting to get in a routine.. kinda

classes are wierd. once a week, 2 hours each.. bam. no messin around, no homework. only attendance for two of my classes, the other 4 i can never go to if i want. (obviously not a good idea though). my end of courses exams will be oral and if i fail i retake. ill post my classes once i get em finalized


the only two that are finalized are french and french civilization.. guess what.. both i have the same prof who i loveee.. so im stoked about that. he is like the perfect french guy. today he went on a rant acting like a rude french waiter than than stopped.. stared at us and said 'VOILA!! bienvenu en France'.. hes like an actor and just very dramatic and i love it. plus hes all like i think i said last time mr suave with like the perfect shaved goatee and suit and frazzled hair.... tooo funny (no i dont reallly love him, no worries)



so yesterday.. had the hardest time getting out of bed but worked on some RA paperwork and went to class.. in the rain. then prof wasnt there for the first so i sat in on another class.. it was boring i hope i get the original one i wanted. then i had laicité and droit.. teacher kinda tried to scare us out of the class but i thnk its interesting and will be ok.. but we shall see

after i grabbed a coffee with the intl kiddos.. kinda annoying as everyone was beingg suppperr loud and in english mainly :( glad it didnt last long.

then i tried going to a 'student mass' at the super cool church i posted a pic of. most. awkward. thing. ever.. well up there at least. i show up  and its in like a side rooom not in the actual cathedral. there are 10 people there.. all of which besides me are part of the group that organizes it. so they all know each other. and when mass starts they announce that half will be in german? not sure why.

no pamphlet so i couldnt sing along.. pray... or even say 'father/son/holy spirit' or 'peace be with you' because.. its all french and i didnt know what would be directly translated and not. super awkward.. and empty and blah.. ddnt like it. there was suppose to be a dinner after but i just bolted! im gonna go to sunday mass instead and research how to say stuff before this time :)

had a great dinner with véro as usual.. her and i talk like 3 hours at dinner everynight and she corrects my which is good. i still make a lottt of errors and am really trying to focus on pronunciation.. not 'puis' but 'puiiiis' (airy) and such. i then chatted with the rents


this morning i got up and ran again (new pics!!!) it was awesomme.. showered and went to class. first class was in english? ughh so i need to pick a different one. i stayed cus i didnt wanna be rude but seriously.. was annoyed. second class was with the prof i love and we just picked topics/groups for a presentation. so pretty boring day. had a great dinner again and convo and gonna crash as i have a long dayy and long night ahead of me. there is a gala and looks like were planning to party for 12 hours straight!

a lil about me since ive been just journaling events:
before i get in a stage that i hate it here.. i want to say how much i love it. i am soo glad ... even if i hate the next 5 months. that ive had these weeks here. i can never chose to be alone and i finally did and im glad. dont get me wrong i still love being around people constantly but i really just needed a break. esp this last week i just have gotten to do whatever i want, with whoever i want, whenever i want.. eat what i want, sleep when i want..etc. idk the last time i truely did that as im always acting off of other peoples plans/wants all the time. i feel like this whole semester im going to have this chance.. no ties.. no obligations. class when i want, study when i want, sit in a courtyard nibbling a baguette for hours if i want, and get wasted at a bar/club if i want. i just am actually doing the things IIII want to do and i feel like i havent in so long. i spend soo much time giving every last bit of energy of myself for others and doing what others want me to do.. (which i LIKE doing just nice to not for once) read the next part with caution: because i dont mean this to sound as mean as it will.. but i dont even reallly miss anyone yet. if i think about someone specifically yes.. but it doesnt' consume my day-to-day. i mean i really wish i could be SHARING it with all the people i love.. i wish people could be here to SEE it.. but i by no means want to come back (thank god cus its only been two weeks) but i just like.. reallly needed to get away i guess. all the problems ive had the last semester were due to others and me not giving time to ME.. so this has just been perfect. also ive been able to stay in touch so i still feel 'close' to most of you. idk..

 im glad to be alone right now for the first time in forever.. and i wanted to write down the positives of this to look back on for the days to come when im dying of homesickness. i do love you all and thank you soo much for all the support, being able to have you just an internet connection away has made this so much easier (as you saw when i didnt have internet i FREAKED) so dont be mad that i said that ^^ :)