written jan 6th!

training wheels.. OFF

Kkkkk woooahhh reality check.. no internet..

Im really ‘in France now’.. not vacation anymore

I arrived in aix today and was picked up by Vivienne , really nice irish lady that is my ‘correspondent’ between my host mom and me. She showed the town and it was like ‘heres this heres that that’s where this is etc.. I think im going to love it, it looks so pretty and French and quaint and a lot like I was hoping/picturing. We stopped at the school real quick and then came up to my host moms house. Its wayyy at the top of a huge hill from the center of town so I am going to have a good workout everyday! 

My hosts moms name is véronique and I got to meet one of her daughters, and her daughters friend before they left for marsielle, they are in lower 20s I think. It’s a verry small apartment but I have my own room.  Im curious to see how the showers go.. it’s a tub with no shower curtain and like a spray hose that has a cord but… ???? I don’t really understand how that works without getting water everywhere! But I got to unpack which was nice (still don’t have my other suitcase L) and then we soon headed over to véro’s sisters house. There I met her sister, brother in law, and two nephews. My confidence was a bit boosted today as conversation went well with less thought and I got a lot of compliments on my French J yayyy but I made sure they will correct my mistakes. We just talked while they cooked and had dinner. Idk why French people are skinnier than Americans. I eat the slowest out of anyone ive ate with in the last two weeks and eat by far the least.. even though im trying to be super polite by eating as much as they give me. Ive been stuffed for two weeks straight and still eating slower and less than everyone else! I cant be polite anymore or im gonna get fat J. After dinner we watched some tv and headed back here to the apartment. Im deadddd tirredd. I think from just so much new stuff all in one day

Im going to have wifi soon.. but I kinda wanna cry not knowing when ill have it. This is like the most stressful time and I cant really talk to anyone I know. Its probably for the better but right now its freaking me out. Its like.. the first time its kinda hit me that I am actually 1/3 of the way around the world.. and not with my family.. or my friends. And on my own. I have to walk to my school and set up a bank account and pick classes tomorrow and meet Vivienne for coffee.. and I have no idea what im doing!!! Im very tired and have a lot of nerves running through me just like wondering this n that and if im going to like it and what its going to be like. I cant wait til im accustomed to everything cus right now this I just so much new at one time. And trying to think that ill be here for so long. Its made this like reclusive effect on me, since I got here I just wanted to be in the room and sleep, its just really overwhelming I guess. I know I cant/shouldn’t do that so again.. prob best to not have internet right now to make me stay out of the room but its just kinda scary, plus I like just seeing home each day. But idk when im gonna have it soo :\ or when my suitcase will ever get here :\.. so begins my new life

To rewind, I slept horrible last night.. layed awake for hours.. I wasn’t even nervous yesterday so idk what the problem was. This morning I ‘composter mon billet’ at the TGV station in Lyon and laurens mom and aunt were so nice to take me and show me how to get on the train and which cart and all that.. it only took an hour n a half to get to aix en provence. I loved seeing the French countryside, mountains in the distance, farms and stone houses/churches, rolling hills and rivers. Just beautiful.

But sooo my host moms had many us students stay here before, she doesn’t know English so that’s good.. no crutch for me J and all of the people that have stayed with her before come back and visit all the time or even live in france now so that’s encouraging.. she must be really nice and caring and fun. Also, she said my spoken French is better than any of the others she had when they arrived and that all of them were perfect after 4 montsh.. and I have 6 months.. so that was encouraging to hear too! Im pretty nervous about my classwork as I keep hearing how difficult this school is apparently (Cezanne studied there way back too!) so idk.. I hope I don’t fail. Blaahh blahhh first day I don’t get to speak English at the end of the day too… weird..  im super excited just feel pretty stressed and alone.. gonna listen til music til I crash I guess..